0 eight hundred hours and eight minutes Eastern Standard time on May fourth, 2010
To agent Tenebrosesbeltos:
Enjoy your summer! I miss Spain, and am wondering when I will be able to get back there. Tell those security guards at the Biblioteca Nacional that over the course of 1 year I figured out a way to clandestinely smuggle out original facsimiles of Pio Baroja's La Lucha por la Vida series. Right under their noses! The key was a big tub of what appeared to be sunscreen. I told them I would immediately develop a life-threatening rash if I did not have the cream with me at all times while I was in the reading room. They gave me some authorization stamp that said "lector" on it. As time went on and they got tired of dealing with me, they stopped inspecting the contents of the tub. That is when I started rolling up the facsimiles and stuffing them into the container. Tell them I want one of their hats. If they give me one of their hats, autographed by each one of them individually, I will return the facsimiles. No questions asked.
Cordially yours,
Lope, la vaca loca.
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