Entremes numero uno

August 17th, 1972 (Dispatched Live from the Scene by Ron Paulista- correspondent of the LA Times):

No matter what they say, it has never been hotter in Las Vegas. We are here at the Sands Casino with all of our high-powered flash technology, remotely operated microphones fixed to the awning, and cameras with space age lenses ready to meet none other than Clyde “wobbly foot” Sequensky, who is on a privately charted direct flight from the US operated Space and Technology base deep deep in uncharted territory on the North Pole.

Mr. Sequensky, formerly a biology professor at the University of California, Los Angeles, is known for his innovative, and in niche circles lauded research in a field practically no one knows of called “Global Warming.”

For the last 1098 days he has been voluntarily exposing himself to the harshest range of earthly temperatures known to mankind on planet earth. He has lived three 365-day terms consecutively, with no more than 24 hours of travel time after each one in each of the following places (listed in chronological order): the capivara (the biggest rodent on the face of the earth) research center on the outer banks of the south pole; the Furnace Creek campground in Death Valley, CA; and finally, for the last 365 days in the North Pole.

We are told that he will be arriving in a motorcade, and we have every reason to believe that Mr. Sequensky will be seated in a lime-green, roofless Hummer (which seems to be the surprise of the special occasion). No one seems to know what kind of vehicle this is. A dune buggy, perhaps? Time will tell.

Not very much time, obviously because he and his team are racing against the clock. According to their widely publicized itinerary, the privately chartered flight was scheduled to leave the US Space and Technology Base at O 900 hours Standard Pacific Time. Outside the Sands Hotel, there is a flashy clock, which currently shows O 8 hundred and 56 Standard Pacific Time. If our records are correct (and this information was verified and disseminated by the Associated Press), he must arrive in four minutes or his whole campaign will be for naught.

Oh wait, Jenny, do you see that? Is that a tank? A hum-vee? What in creation is that lime green bulky looking vehicle just passing the Flamingo down the street? No doubt it is him, the visionary Prof. Sequensky, as the horns of the motorcade are sounding off in an arpeggio type rhythm.

It is him indeed. He is alive, despite his direct defiance of the elements. Back to civilization. Restored (well maybe we should not say this until the AP has confirmed it). I am not getting a signal in my earpiece. Jenny we are going to have to cut it here. Stay tuned America, we will be back with more as soon as we can confirm its veracity.

Ron Paulista, LA Times, saying “Hasta la vista, baby!"